give me some SOAP OPERA!

Ecliptica stumbled to the door, narrowly avoiding the recumbent form of October's advent, who was lying in the hallway with a bottle stuck down his trousers and a condom over his head (Jester's latest prank), and managed to pry the door open.
The sobering sight of two police officers stood on the doorstep in front of her.
Ecliptica immediatley straightened up and tried to fight back the urge to vomit, before slurring: "Whats canna youdo for ussss this fine eve, eve, evening.........Officicers?"
"Well madam, we've had numerous complaints about you guys this evening. Not to mention last week. Do you mind if we strep inside for a moment?"
"Nonononono. Um, yes, i mean. I mean. No. I don't mind, you if step inde our house. On This evening now."
Ecliptica tried to take steps backwards to let the officers inside the house, before tripping over October's legs and falling on her ass.
"hahahahahah!" She burst out laughing.
One of the police officers helped her up before taking a look around the living room.
"What on earth....?"
The image that greeted him was not a pretty one.
Jester was riding piggy-back on LH, while Loke was draining the last of a bottle of cheap vodka in the corner. Lost Wisdom was greedily eyeing the Red Soda soaked t-shirt on the ceiling, while headbanger made out with yet another nameless chick. The noise of Scythory and Everlost in their room was quite clear even this far away, And Maverick was apparently cleaning an engine with jack Daniels in the middle of the Living room.
All the while, Ecliptica continued giggling to herself.
Loke stood up slowly, as he brought the peace officers into focus, before yelling: "COPS! RUN!"
Then all hell broke loose.

Then all hell broke loose.

October's Advent, who had been passed out by the front door awoke to a frightened Ecliptica half laying over him and the first thing he said was, "Why is there a bottle down my pants?" He honestly had no idea what was going on, not that anyone else did, arguably, so of course the cops went straight for him.

"Young man, we're gonna have to ask you to come with us," one of the cops said, and he began to help Advent to his feet. "We'll need to see some identification."

In his drunkeness, Advent pulled the first thing that was in his back pocket out and handed it to you cops, thinking that it was his wallet. The cop opened what he also thought to be a wallet, but instead was sprayed with yellow liquid. The cop was furious, and somewhere in the crowd of now calm MMFE housemates, Jester's voice laughed uncontrollably. "What the hell!?!?!" the cop exclaimed ferociously, "What the hell is this?!?!?!"

October's Advent, who had noticed the prank wallet at the last second decided to add to the humour by giving the officer a big kiss on the cheek and say, "Its apple juice!", but as he was kissing the officer, what he tasted was not apple juice. Instead, what came out of his mouth was, "I think its pi--*BARFFFFF*"

And with that, the cops handcuffed Advent and took him away telling the others that this young man needed a night in prison.

Maverick, who had been working on his car, suddenly stood behind the cops and whacked 'em with one of his tools over the head. The cops fell to ground, and Maverick then said "Jesus fucking christ.. will you people keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate." and headed back for the garage to further work on his car.
Everyone kept staring at the two cops and at Advent, who was still puking. "God damnit, Jester.. Is that mine or yours?" "I think it was a bit of all of our piss mixed with some red soda," said Jester, who's still laughing uncontrolably.
After a few minutes of everyone regaining their calm (except those two upstairs...) and Advent finishing puking, they remember about the two cops.
"So... what are we going to do with them?" asks Ecliptica