give me some SOAP OPERA!

Loke stubbed out a cigarette in the ashtray of the newly cleaned living room at the heart of the mmfe house, before taking a moment to look around at the sheer cleanliness that now surrounded him. It had taken barricaded doors, 7 hours, and 15 grams of speed but he had finally managed to remove the various blood, sweat, semen and puke stains from the floor, couch, walls, and not least, the ceiling, but now it was done.
He went to find his hammer, before going over to the door and prying loose the nails that had held the door shut for the better part of the day. Almost as soon as he had removed the boards Jester burst through the doorway, loudly voicing his concerns about why Loke had been locked in the living room all day, before stopping dead at the sight of an almost new looking living room.
"You even cleaned the graffiti off the light bulbs!" he muttered, almost speechless.
Loke didn't reply, instead walking into the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge. As he was walking back in Maverick burst through the door behind Jeter.
"What the hell man!!! You locked me out of the kitchen all fucking day! I'm hungry! I only had my emergency food storage that's hidden under my bed! What were you thinking?!"
Maverick didn't wait for an answer but ran straight into the kitchen to make himself a pizza, seemingly not noticing the newfound glory of the living room. Jester still hadn't moved much more than a couple of feet, and was muttering quietly under his breath about the semen stains he had worked so hard to get on the ceiling.

The shouting coming from the living room was slowly drawing the attention of all of the other roommates, and they were beginning to walk through the door into the living room each with a different reaction to Loke's handiwork.
Loke stepped through the threshhold from the kitchen, still not saying a word. He lifted his bottle opener to the beer in his hand and cracked the lid.
The frothy beer inside the bottle burst forth, no longer hindered by the cap on the bottle, reaching forward for freedom, and ending up all over Loke, the newly steamed carpet, the freshly cleaned walls, even the ceiling.


"GODFUCKINGDAMNITYOUFUCKINGCUNTOFAWHOREFUCK!!!!!!!!!!"

Sorry this took me so long. We really need tp get this shit started...

LordHangnail was the last of the MMFE gang to make his was into the living room. As usual, he strode through the living room without noticing a thing, completely clueless to the newfound cleanliness that now reigned (aside from Loke's recent beer spill). He walked into the kitchen to find the majority of the MMFEers crammed around the table, eating and drinking and laughing at Loke who seemed to be covered in some sort of liquid. LH signed and walked to the refrigerator to get whatever he could find. He grabbed a plate of half-eaten spaghetti and made his way back into the living room. As he entered, he brought his motion to a halt and gasped at the new state of the room.

"Who did this?" he exclaimed as he noticed the disappearance of all of his various blood stains.

As shock overcame his body, he dropped his plate and slipped in it causing the plate to shatter and spaghetti to fly in every direction. Loke ran into the living room and snarled.

"You!" was all he could say as he began to board up the doors. "You aren't leaving this room until it is spotless. Absolutely fucking spotless. If I see a single bit of spaghetti or your blood anywhere in that room, I am claiming your head as a wall decoration" Loke screamed as he nailed up the final board. The rest of the MMFE house went about their daily duties as LH toiled in the living room, fearing for his life.

Meanwhile, Lost-Wisdom and Jester...

Meanwhile, Lost-Wisdom and Jester were finishing up their plates of.....well...they neer were too sure about what was on those plates, but hell, they ate it. After washing the odd tasting substance down with some red soda, the two of them went into the living room to see how Lord H was doing with his cleaning project.

"He seems to be enjoying himself," a tired Lost Wisdom observed and went over to kick the sleeping Lord Hangnail to awakeness, "Well....he was."

"What the FUCK did you do that for, man!?!?!" Lord H, who was extremely happy to be awake, yelled groggily.

"Loke says he's gonna make you clean the entire house including Everlost and Scythy's room if you don't finish this soon," Jester said, matter-of-factly, "We were doing you a favor."

Shuddering at the prospect of the punishment he intended to bypass, Lord H willingly began cleaning away at a rate faster than either of them could believe. Loke stepped into the room to check on the progress a few minutes later and found to his amazement, the living room as clean as it had been before. His jaw dropped nearly to his chest and he exclaimed, "...........!!!!!!", which we all know means "holyfuckingshit" in Loke's little language.

Lord H, now seemingly a servant of pleasure for Loke, crawled on his knees to kneel in front of Loke. "See, mastersssss! Seeee! I finishes itsssss!" Lord H, mad with terror, began grovelling at the feet of Loke, "Pleassssseee don't makes us cleans the rooom of terrorsssss!!!!!"

Loke, amazed at the change in Lord H's countenance immediately expected the worst. "What the fuck did you guys tell him that would make him start speaking like Gollum? Get the fuck off of me, you goddamneed Hobbit!" At that, Loke had kicked Lord H to the side and was now facing Lost Wisdom and Jester head on.

Chuckling, both of them replied at the exact same time, which sounded something like, "WellwehetoldwashimsleepingontheummmEverlostpoopalloverScythy'sandhisroom....."

"ENOUGH! One of you tell me....ONE of you."

Jester and Lost Wisdom looked at eachother laughingly and they decided without words that it should be Lost Wisdom. He continued, "When we came upon our Lord H, who had not as of yet become what the darkness has contrived of his half-liefd form...."

"Jesus Christ......in English, please."

"That nigga was as'eep, so we told that foo if he didn't finish this shit soon, you would make his nigger ass clean Everlost and Scythy's room." And with the adopted Brooklyn accent, Loke finally understood what had happened.

Loke rolled his eyes and gazed down at a grovelling LordH who, with eyes stretched for miles in both directions returned the glance.
"Man, snap out of it" said Loke with disgust as he shook his head in disbelief at the snivelling pile of waste that had become of LordHangnail.
LH got to his feet, took a sigh and said "well that was fun" before exiting the room.
"That guy needs to get laid" said Jester as the other three returned to the kitchen. LH walked up the stairs, looking for someone to help him cure his boredom. He thought of checking in on Scythory but shuddered as he remembered the last time he did that. "Everlost’s pubic hair is thicker than a lion’s mane" he said to himself. LH stopped as he came to Headbanger’s room. HB was sitting in his computer chair, giggling with delight. LH walked over to him and said "hey man, what’s going on?" He was answered with a loud "shhh!" and HB turned to overlook his window.
As the two metalheads looked out over the vast yard, covered in enormous blades of grass that hadn’t been trimmed in at least a year, they saw the most holy of holy sights. Two women, around twenty years old approached the house, both very well endowed, both very gorgeous. Headbanger giggled. "Hehehe. Those are for me" he said as the doorbell rang. He screamed "party" as he ran down the stairs and seemingly out of nowhere, hoards of people began showing up. In no time, the house was trashed, as were all of its inhabitants (save for LW who was sober and content with his red soda). HB spent most of the time grabbing various asses, and trying to coerce the two women he had invited into a threesome with him. LordHangnail started a drunken brawl with Loke which he inevitably lost. The two then began lighting things on fire, and accidentally lit Jester’s hair aflame. He ran around the house squealing like Waking The Cadaver on helium before colliding with one of Headbanger’s women, setting her recently hair-sprayed hair ablaze.
WHEN SUDDENLY...

She bumped into LW making him spill his red soda all over
her and everyone else. LW became furious because that was the last bit of it
(20L of red soda was gone that day), so he immediately asked for an
explanation. The girl said that it wasn't her fault some jerk bumped into her
making her panic.
"Hmm... I guess that's reasonable," said LW, after accepting the fact
that he'll have to buy new bottles of red soda. However, the girl had something
more to add: "Yeah.. so.. now that YOUR soda spilled on MY shirt, YOU will
have to buy a new one whether you like it or not." "What the fuck?
You fucking spilled my red soda and now you fucking expect me to buy some
stupid shirt for you? Oh, and it's a fucking My Chemical Romance shirt. I
myself would have pissed all over it," says LW, after becoming furious
again. "Oh how dare you!" the girl exclaimed, and pushed LW who
bumped into Headbanger who was making out with the other girl, causing her to
accidentally bite Headbanger's tongue. "What the fuck?!?!" shouts
Headbanger, noticing that his tongue’s bleeding. He then saw the girl's shirt
covered in red soda, still demanding a new shirt from LW.


"Oh boy..." Headbanger said, after the girl
covered in red soda started walking towards him..

Jester, after having extinguished his hair and watched the scene with red soda and tits and shirts and tits and threats of new shirts and tits decided he better interfere. As the girl with the MCR shirt began to close in on Headbanger, Jester snuck up behind her, and right before she went to strangle HB, Jester, victoriously yelled, "Uh oh! It looks like you stained your shirt! Here....I'll just help you take that off!"

Ripping the shirt over her head with a triumphant grin, Jester threw it up in the air, where it somehow stuck to the celing due to some substance that had already been on the celing. The girl who was now shirtless didn't seem to find the humor in the situation and she turned around to punch Jester square in the face, but while she was executing he swing, Headbanger decided to keep with the flow and pulled her already low jeans down to her knees. This caused her to trip and fall into what would've been Jester's arms if he hadn't dodged out of the way like the asshole that he is.

Eventually, the two girls left, and in their fury forgot the shirt stuck to the celing.

The party continued until a knock at the door interrupted....

Ecliptica stumbled to the door, narrowly avoiding the recumbent form of October's advent, who was lying in the hallway with a bottle stuck down his trousers and a condom over his head (Jester's latest prank), and managed to pry the door open.
The sobering sight of two police officers stood on the doorstep in front of her.
Ecliptica immediatley straightened up and tried to fight back the urge to vomit, before slurring: "Whats canna youdo for ussss this fine eve, eve, evening.........Officicers?"
"Well madam, we've had numerous complaints about you guys this evening. Not to mention last week. Do you mind if we strep inside for a moment?"
"Nonononono. Um, yes, i mean. I mean. No. I don't mind, you if step inde our house. On This evening now."
Ecliptica tried to take steps backwards to let the officers inside the house, before tripping over October's legs and falling on her ass.
"hahahahahah!" She burst out laughing.
One of the police officers helped her up before taking a look around the living room.
"What on earth....?"
The image that greeted him was not a pretty one.
Jester was riding piggy-back on LH, while Loke was draining the last of a bottle of cheap vodka in the corner. Lost Wisdom was greedily eyeing the Red Soda soaked t-shirt on the ceiling, while headbanger made out with yet another nameless chick. The noise of Scythory and Everlost in their room was quite clear even this far away, And Maverick was apparently cleaning an engine with jack Daniels in the middle of the Living room.
All the while, Ecliptica continued giggling to herself.
Loke stood up slowly, as he brought the peace officers into focus, before yelling: "COPS! RUN!"
Then all hell broke loose.

Then all hell broke loose.

October's Advent, who had been passed out by the front door awoke to a frightened Ecliptica half laying over him and the first thing he said was, "Why is there a bottle down my pants?" He honestly had no idea what was going on, not that anyone else did, arguably, so of course the cops went straight for him.

"Young man, we're gonna have to ask you to come with us," one of the cops said, and he began to help Advent to his feet. "We'll need to see some identification."

In his drunkeness, Advent pulled the first thing that was in his back pocket out and handed it to you cops, thinking that it was his wallet. The cop opened what he also thought to be a wallet, but instead was sprayed with yellow liquid. The cop was furious, and somewhere in the crowd of now calm MMFE housemates, Jester's voice laughed uncontrollably. "What the hell!?!?!" the cop exclaimed ferociously, "What the hell is this?!?!?!"

October's Advent, who had noticed the prank wallet at the last second decided to add to the humour by giving the officer a big kiss on the cheek and say, "Its apple juice!", but as he was kissing the officer, what he tasted was not apple juice. Instead, what came out of his mouth was, "I think its pi--*BARFFFFF*"

And with that, the cops handcuffed Advent and took him away telling the others that this young man needed a night in prison.

Maverick, who had been working on his car, suddenly stood behind the cops and whacked 'em with one of his tools over the head. The cops fell to ground, and Maverick then said "Jesus fucking christ.. will you people keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate." and headed back for the garage to further work on his car.
Everyone kept staring at the two cops and at Advent, who was still puking. "God damnit, Jester.. Is that mine or yours?" "I think it was a bit of all of our piss mixed with some red soda," said Jester, who's still laughing uncontrolably.
After a few minutes of everyone regaining their calm (except those two upstairs...) and Advent finishing puking, they remember about the two cops.
"So... what are we going to do with them?" asks Ecliptica